Sudah berapa langkah lagi aku tertinggal? Sementara hasratku telah tersoak-soak tertinggal di belakang. Ah bodohnya bodoh yang paling bodoh ketika kau lupa akan kekuatan sendiri. Sehingga perlahan ia tersapu olah penjara pikiran dan mulai kehilangan kegilaannya...

Dan panas hati, sedih pikiran, jatuh mental kala aku melihat rival-rival telah bersalin karya-karyanya lagi dan lagi. Aku masih tertinggal di titik nol.

Aku terperrangkap, ditakut-takuti oleh ketakutanku yang paling besar. Adalah menjadi bukan siapa-siapa di tengah tengah gemulai makhluk-makhluk indah. Sementara mantera-mantera kata betebaran di mana-mana, tak satupun aku tangkap dan kusimpan di pagina-pagina elektronik ini. Bodoh ini bodohnya siapa?

Aku butuh kamus.
Aku butuh kartu anggota perpustakaanku yang mereka rampas dengan paksa ketika aku lulus.
Aku butuh laptop baru yang bisa melekat pada jari-jemariku.
Aku butuh lebih banyak membaca dan belajar lagi.
Aku butuh mengenal diriku sendiri, lebih lekat lagi!

I will always be the virgin-prostitute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman. I suffered deeply from my own forwardness as a woman. As a man, I would have been glad to have what I desired. You are the man who is the axis of my world.He is angry at the amorality of women like myself. He himself practices all the disloyalties, all the treacheries, but the faithlessness of a woman hurts him. Life is not rational; it is just mad and full of pain. Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions. You are a sexual angel, but you're an angel just the same. You are a narcissist. That is the raison d'etre of the journal. Journal writing is a disease. But it's all right. It's very interesting.

(Anais Nin, Henry and June)

daaammmnnnn
gigi bungsu gue tumbuh lagiii

FFfffffuuuuu!!+_%&**%%#%($@!!*&!!^%%ccckkk!!!!!

Well, I'm not actually bacpacking. You can say that this is a semi-backpack traveling. Me and my friend Sarah stayed at a backpacker hostel but I don't use any backpack, I use a "koper tarik ala pramugari" instead and still do some shopping (heehee). But yeah, this is the 1st time I managed my own traveling schedule, searched the budget backpacker hostel myself, searched the cheapest plane tickets myself. All free time... All mine :-D

So I stayed at City Backpacker hostel in Kallang, only Sin$15/bed/night in a mixed male-female dorm. At 1st I was a little bit scared, since this is my 1st time staying at a backpacker hostel and I'm just traveling with my girl friend Sarah, just the two of us. No boys, just us the "two little city girl". But it actually not that bad. I really recommended this hostel, the owner is very nice and helpful and the place is very clean. We shared 8 bed a room, with surprisingly most girls in the room. They just run the bussines for a month, so the place is still brand new, and they got free internet and free coffee available. Simply check their website www.citybackpackers.com.sg (kok gw malah promosi?)

However, Sarah and I have experianced a scary moment. So when we got off the MRT Kallang station around 11 PM, there were two tattooed scary big guys staring at us and watching us. Sarah noticed this, and we fastened our steps back to our hostels. And guess what, they're following us! Highly aware of everything bad that might happen, we ran to the enterance door. We're save. For now... (Gee... Gosh...) Tomorrow we won't come home late for sure...

Anyway, tomorrow's plan is browsing the collonial distcrict of Singapore, Orchard Road, and Chinatown. It'll take a whole day. Gotta sleep now, and the day after is the big day, the day why we've been planning for the trip to Singapore. "THE" concert. Cheers!